Why Facing Your Biggest Fears is the Secret to Unstoppable Success
You’ve Been Running from Fear, Failure, and Rejection—Here’s How to Flip Them Into Your Superpower and Thrive
Introduction: The Purpose of Fear
What if the fear you feel wasn’t something to avoid, but something to face head-on? What if the entire reason we experience fear is because it holds the lessons we need to grow into the person we are meant to become?
In life, fear, failure, and rejection aren’t just inevitable—they’re necessary. They’re how we grow. They’re part of the process, pushing us to stretch beyond our comfort zone and step into our authentic selves. But there’s something you might not know: You can train fear—just like you train muscles. It’s a concept I call a Fear PR (Personal Record), and it works the same way as training in the gym. Little by little, challenge by challenge, you can build your resilience to fear and develop the courage to face the most difficult obstacles in your life.
In this article, we’ll explore how to use the Fear PR concept and create a Fear Hierarchy—a structured way to systematically face your fears, just like progressing through a workout plan. Whether it’s fear of failure, fear of rejection, or even phobias that have held you back for years, the Fear PR process will help you confront, stretch, and grow.
The Fear PR Concept
A Fear PR works exactly like a strength training personal record (PR). Just like you would aim to lift a little more weight each week to build muscle, you can train yourself to face progressively more challenging fears. Instead of avoiding discomfort, you intentionally expose yourself to manageable doses of fear, gradually building your resilience.
This concept is rooted in psychology—specifically exposure therapy, which shows that by gradually facing your fears in a controlled manner, you desensitize yourself to them. Each time you push through, you rewire your brain, changing your emotional and psychological response to fear. What once seemed impossible slowly becomes doable, and over time, it’s no longer fear that controls you, but you who controls your fear.
Action Step: Build Your Fear PR Hierarchy
To start training your fear, you need to create a Fear Hierarchy. Think of it as a ladder, where each rung represents a new level of challenge. The first step is small and manageable, something that stretches you but doesn’t overwhelm you. Each subsequent step gets progressively harder, culminating in a massive, breakthrough challenge that pushes you far beyond your comfort zone.
Here’s how to build your own Fear PR Hierarchy:
Step 1: Identify Your Core Fear
Think of a fear that has been holding you back. It could be fear of public speaking, fear of failure, fear of rejection, or even a specific phobia, like fear of heights or deep water.
Example Fear:
Let’s use my own fear of sharks as an example.
Step 2: Break it Down into 10 Levels of Difficulty
Start with something relatively easy—something that makes you a little nervous but is achievable. Then build your list of progressively harder challenges until the final step is something that seems almost impossible right now. Here’s an example hierarchy for my fear of sharks:
Swim in the ocean breakers (small exposure to the environment with minimal fear).
Kayak in the ocean past the breakers (a bit further into the open water).
Go deep-sea fishing (being on a boat in deep waters).
Go snorkeling (introducing more water exposure while seeing marine life).
Learn to scuba dive (in a controlled, shallow environment).
Swim briefly in the open ocean (short bursts of exposure in deep water).
Scuba dive in shallow reefs (greater time underwater but in controlled areas).
Scuba dive in deep water (more exposure to deep waters and marine life).
Cage diving with sharks (extreme exposure while in a controlled environment).
Free diving with sharks (ultimate exposure—facing the fear head-on).
Step 3: Take Action on the First Step
The key is to start small. Begin with the least intimidating item on your list. If it’s a fear of public speaking, your first step might be speaking to a small, trusted group of friends. If it’s a fear of failure, you might take a small risk, like applying for a role that stretches your skills.
Example:
I started by swimming in the ocean breakers, allowing myself to get used to being in the water without overwhelming myself. With each step, my confidence grew, and I was able to move on to the next level.
Step 4: Gradually Move Up the Hierarchy
Once you’ve conquered the first step, it’s time to move on to the next one. This might take time—it’s important to respect your own pace. If something feels too overwhelming, scale back and repeat the previous step until you’re ready.
The beauty of the Fear PR process is that it’s a gradual, controlled exposure to fear. It’s not about diving into the deep end right away but about building psychological strength one step at a time.
The Courage to Be Disliked
Another critical aspect of overcoming fear is developing the courage to be disliked. In a world obsessed with fitting in, criticism and rejection are inevitable. It’s normal to fear judgment, but the courage to be disliked is what frees you to live authentically and chase your purpose.
Remember: no one who has ever done anything worthwhile has avoided criticism. It’s not the people who play it safe and keep everyone happy who change the world—it’s the people who are bold enough to be different, to ruffle feathers, and to stay true to themselves, even when others disapprove.
Action Step: Challenge Yourself to Face Rejection
Create a mini Fear PR Hierarchy for rejection. Start with something small, like sharing an unpopular opinion or asking for something you think might be turned down. Gradually work your way up to bigger challenges, like applying for a position or opportunity you might not feel ready for or reaching out to someone who intimidates you.
Failure is the Point—Not the Problem
In the Next Level Human framework, we don’t fear failure—we embrace it. Failure is feedback. It shows us what doesn’t work so we can figure out what does. More importantly, failure is how you grow. Every time you stumble, you learn something new about yourself, and you become better equipped to face the next challenge.
Action Step: Reframe Failure as Feedback
After every perceived failure or setback, ask yourself:
What did I learn from this?
How did this experience push me closer to my purpose?
How can I use this failure as fuel for future success?
Conclusion: The Path to Becoming Fearless
Fear, failure, rejection, and criticism are not signs that you’re on the wrong path. They’re the stepping stones on the path to your greatest growth. Building a Fear PR Hierarchy allows you to confront these challenges one step at a time, gradually expanding your comfort zone and developing the courage to face even your biggest fears.
Remember, no one gets through life without fear. The difference is how you respond to it. Will you let it control you, or will you use it as fuel to grow and evolve?
By embracing fear, owning your authentic story, and developing the courage to be disliked, you unlock the ability to live fully, authentically, and purposefully.