Why Do You Feel Stuck? The Surprising Truth About Emotions, Stories, and Your Subconscious Beliefs
How Unseen Narratives Shape Your Life—and the Breakthrough Framework to Rewrite Them for Good
Imagine you’re driving a car but can’t see the road because your windshield is covered in mud. You feel frustrated, angry, anxious, maybe even a little hopeless. But instead of cleaning the glass, you keep gripping the wheel tighter, hoping brute force will steer you to safety.
Here’s the kicker: That’s how most of us live.
We’re guided by emotions—those flashes of fear, frustration, and sadness—but we don’t realize they’re not just random feelings. They’re messages, breadcrumbs leading us to the invisible stories and outdated beliefs that run our lives. Until we clear that “mud” off the windshield, we’ll keep circling back to the same patterns, struggles, and stuck emotions.
But what if I told you that emotions aren’t the problem—they’re the solution?
Why Your Emotions Are the GPS of Your Higher Self
Emotions are often misunderstood. Most people treat them like passengers in the back seat of their lives: annoying, unpredictable, and best ignored. But emotions are more like the GPS system—they tell you where you are stuck by revealing the unconscious beliefs that keep running in the background.
Psychological research supports this. Studies like those by Lazarus (1991) on cognitive appraisal and Gilbert (2017) on compassion therapy show that emotions aren’t just reactive—they’re interpretive. They arise from the way we process the world through stories we’ve absorbed, often in our formative years.
Think about the emotion of anger. On the surface, it’s just rage—but beneath it, there’s often a story:
“I can’t let go.”
“I was wronged, and no one cared.”
Or anxiety:
“What if I make the wrong choice?”
“I’m not prepared for what’s ahead.”
These emotions aren’t wrong; they’re clues. They’re highlighting what I call MUD—Misguided Unconscious Decisions.
What Is MUD, and Why Does It Matter?
MUD forms in those vulnerable moments in childhood or adolescence when you lacked the tools or wisdom to fully understand what was happening. Maybe you were rejected by a friend and decided, “I’m not worthy of love.” Maybe your parents were overly critical, and you internalized, “I’m never good enough.”
These erroneous beliefs stick with you, shaping your identity and choices. Over time, they create entrenched emotional patterns:
Anger stems from stories of betrayal or injustice.
Frustration signals repetitive, unfulfilling behaviors.
Resistance points to an inability to accept circumstances.
Insecurity highlights a lack of self-worth.
Depression reflects a loss of trust or hope.
Studies on developmental psychology and attachment theory confirm this: Early experiences shape how we interpret emotions and form beliefs.
The Three Circles Model: How Emotions Get “Stuck”
The Three Circles Model, developed in Compassion-Focused Therapy, explains how our emotions interplay in three systems:
Threat and Self-Protection System: Designed to detect danger and protect us, this system drives feelings like anxiety, anger, and fear. While essential for survival, its overactivation can keep us stuck in defensive loops.
Drive and Achievement System: This system motivates us to pursue goals and rewards, generating emotions like excitement. When imbalanced, it can lead to burnout or frustration.
Soothing and Social System: The counterbalance to the first two, this system fosters feelings of safety and connection. Activating it through compassion or self-care helps regulate overwhelming emotions.
The key to emotional freedom lies in balancing these systems, ensuring the soothing system offsets the hyperactivation of threat or drive.
How to Break Free: The BEEP Framework
Breath Enhanced Emotional Processing (BEEP) is a transformative tool designed to help you rewrite entrenched beliefs and emotional patterns. Combining breathwork, visualization, and narrative exploration, BEEP works by calming your nervous system and creating a safe space to address subconscious stories.
The BEEP Process:
Focus on an Emotion: Identify a recurring emotion (e.g., anxiety, frustration).
Use Breathwork: Engage in specific breath patterns—fast breathing to uncover deeper emotions or slow breathing to activate the soothing system.
Visualize Your Younger Self: Picture the part of you that formed this belief and offer it a new narrative, such as “You are safe now.”
Reflect and Integrate: After the session, journal about your experience to solidify the new perspective.
Want to try BEEP? Download a free resource here: Breath Enhanced Emotional Processing Guide.
Closing Thought: Your Emotional GPS
The next time you feel stuck, remember this: Your emotions aren’t trying to hurt you. They’re trying to guide you. They’re your inner GPS, pointing to the beliefs and stories that need rewriting.
Clear the MUD, balance your emotional systems, and you’ll find not just relief—but freedom.
Citations:
Lazarus, R. S. (1991). Emotion and Adaptation. New York: Oxford University Press.
Gilbert, P. (2017). Compassion-Focused Therapy: Clinical Practice and Applications. London: Routledge.
Bowlby, J. (1969). Attachment and Loss: Volume I. Attachment. New York: Basic Books.
Singer, T., & Engert, V. (2019). "It Matters What You Practice: Differential Training Effects on Subjective Experience, Behavior, Brain, and Body." Current Opinion in Psychology, 28, 151-158.
Dweck, C. S. (2006). Mindset: The New Psychology of Success. New York: Random House.