Next Level Love: The Kind of Love That Grows You

Love isn’t supposed to be confusing. Here’s what real intimacy looks like and how to find it.

Feb 14, 2025

Love is a mess.

Not the kind of mess we see in movies, with grand romantic gestures and dramatic fights that resolve with a perfectly timed kiss in the rain. Real love—the kind that transforms you—isn't about butterflies or obsession or some bullshit Hollywood version of "fate."

Real love is standing in someone’s storm and choosing not to run.

It’s seeing their wounds, their baggage, the wreckage of their past, and saying, I see you. I see all of it. And I’m still here.

But here’s the catch: That kind of love? The kind of love that expands you, sharpens you, and doesn’t feel like a game? It only happens when you’ve done the work to know what love actually is.

We Get Love All Wrong

Most of us are conditioned to think love should be intoxicating. We confuse chaos with chemistry. We mistake inconsistency for passion. We believe real love is supposed to be hard, that it should feel like an emotional rollercoaster—because, well, that’s what we’ve been shown.

I used to believe that too. And I paid the price for it.

My marriage. My affair. The lessons I didn’t know I needed.

I thought love had to be exciting, unpredictable, and full of highs and lows. But all I was really doing was mistaking uncertainty for intensity. And when you don't know what love is supposed to feel like, you’ll keep gravitating toward what feels familiar—even when it’s fucking you up.

Real Love Is Quiet and Clear

You don’t question it. You don’t second-guess it. You don’t sit there wondering where you stand or whether they actually give a shit about you.

Real love doesn’t send mixed signals.

It doesn’t make you feel like you have to fight for it.

It’s not a battle between your gut and your brain.

It’s home.

I know because I found it. And I lost it. And I learned more from that loss than I did from any of the messy love I had before.

When You Love Someone Enough to Let Them Go

I met someone who made love feel different. It wasn’t transactional. It wasn’t obsessive. It wasn’t tied up in fear or expectation. I just wanted her. I wanted her, not because I needed to fill some hole inside myself, but because I saw her—the real her—and wanted to walk beside her in her growth.

But it wasn’t a love that could last. Not because it wasn’t strong enough, but because sometimes, love is knowing when to step aside.

Her path wasn’t meant to intertwine with mine forever. She had a different journey, a different lesson to learn, and I knew I couldn’t be the thing that held her back from it.

So I let go.

And that was the hardest thing I’ve ever done.

But here’s what I know now: Real love doesn’t hold on for the sake of holding on. It doesn’t cling to what is just because it’s comfortable. It has the courage to release what needs to be released. And when you do that—when you love someone in a way that prioritizes their growth over your attachment—you set yourself free too.

The Power of Clarity

Not long ago, I was tested. A relationship that mirrored the confusion, the inconsistency, and the emotional back-and-forth of my past landed in my lap. And for the first time, I didn’t fall into it.

I saw it for what it was—a test. A test of how much I’d grown, how much I’d learned, how much bullshit I was no longer willing to tolerate.

And I walked away.

Not out of fear. Not out of pain. Not out of avoidance.

But out of clarity.

Because when you’ve tasted real love—the kind that doesn’t make you question yourself, the kind that doesn’t leave you anxious and on edge—anything less feels like a waste of time.

5 Rules of Next Level Love

Not all love is created equal. Some love is a lesson, some love is a test, and some love is Next Level Love. Here’s how you know the difference:

Real Love Feels Safe, Not Scary – Love shouldn’t feel like a guessing game. If you’re constantly questioning where you stand, it’s not love—it’s emotional instability.
Next Level Love Makes You Grow, Not Shrink – If a relationship demands you to play small, silence your truth, or abandon your purpose, it’s not love—it’s a cage.
Real Love Chooses You, Every Day – Love isn’t about chasing. It’s about mutual, conscious commitment. If you’re constantly convincing someone to stay, it’s not love—it’s self-betrayal.
Next Level Love Embraces the Mess, Not Just the Magic – True intimacy means seeing someone’s wounds and saying, I’m here for it. Love isn’t about perfection—it’s about presence.
Real Love is Clear, Not Confusing – Hot and cold? Mixed signals? Walking on eggshells? That’s not passion—it’s dysfunction. Love is steady, secure, and deeply understood.

Love Is a Personal Development Journey

Love isn’t about finding someone who makes you happy. It’s about becoming someone who doesn’t need another person to complete them.

When you get that—when you step into love with full authenticity, with no fear of your own mess and no fear of theirs—that’s when love shows up differently for you.

Because the truth is, we don’t need someone to fix us. We don’t need someone to make us feel whole. What we need is someone who sees our chaos, our wounds, our fears, and doesn’t fucking run.

That’s Next Level Love.

And when you are authentic—when you clear your energy, declare what you truly want, and refuse to settle—you will be amazed at how fast the universe drops them right in your lap.

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P.S. Want to Challenge Everything You Think You Know About Love?

If this resonated with you, You Grow Me is the book that will turn everything you believe about love on its head. It will challenge you, push you, and help you see love in a way you never have before. Check it out and start the journey of real love today. 👉 [GET YOU GROW ME HERE]