Is It Time for Romance? Or Are You Just Wasting Your Damn Time?
How to Know If Someone is Ready for Love—And If You Are Too
Some people are great at relationships. Some people are great at wasting your time. And some people are just great at keeping you around as an option while they figure out what they really want. Meanwhile, you’re standing there, heart in hand, wondering if they’re actually choosing you or just keeping you in their back pocket for validation.
Welcome to modern romance: the land of open loops, leaky energy, and people who claim they want love but won’t actually create space for it. The real question isn’t just whether they are ready—it’s also whether you are.
We like to pretend love is a magical thing that just happens when the timing is right, but the truth is, timing doesn’t mean a damn thing if two people aren’t in the right place emotionally. Love isn’t just about attraction. It’s about availability. It’s about readiness. And, most importantly, it’s about whether both people are actually choosing each other—or just filling space.
Are They Ready? Or Are They Just Here for the Ego Boost?
You’ve done your work. You’ve grown past the phase where attraction alone is enough. You don’t need a relationship to validate you, and you’re just as comfortable being alone as you are in a partnership. But what about them?
Readiness isn’t just about wanting a relationship—it’s about whether someone has actually learned from their past, processed their baggage, and arrived at a place where they can meet you fully. It’s about whether they are showing up with a clear understanding of what they will and won’t entertain, or whether they are still repeating the same cycles they always have.
Some people have a way of keeping romantic doors open, leaving a trail of “what ifs” and unresolved situationships behind them. You can tell when someone hasn’t closed their loops—there’s always a “harmless” ex hovering in the background, or a “just a friend” who conveniently starts getting more attention when you’re not around. If someone isn’t arriving in the present moment fully available, they aren’t actually ready. And you don’t have time for that.
Are They Available? Or Are They Just an Emotional Hoarder?
Availability is more than just relationship status. There are plenty of people who are technically single but emotionally preoccupied. They may not be with someone, but their mind is still tangled up in their last relationship. Their energy is still lingering in old wounds. Their heart is still holding space for the possibility of something else.
You’ve met them before. The ones who seem interested but can never quite make the time. The ones who are still tethered to an ex they claim is “just a friend.” The ones who can’t move forward because they still see love through the lens of their past heartbreak. Instead of having boundaries, they just have baggage. Instead of being fully present, they’re guarded, keeping you at arm’s length while still expecting intimacy.
Love can’t exist in a space that’s already full of unfinished business. If someone hasn’t cleared out their emotional closet, they aren’t available. And if they aren’t available, they are wasting your time.
Are They Interested? Or Are You Just Their Entertainment?
Here’s the thing about attraction—it’s not subtle. When someone truly wants you, you feel it. And when someone is lukewarm, hesitant, or inconsistent, you feel that too.
We lie to ourselves when we pretend we don’t know the difference. We analyze mixed signals and tell ourselves they’re just “bad at expressing emotions.” We rationalize why we’re always the one reaching out first. We make excuses for why their energy is so unpredictable—hot one minute, cold the next.
But attraction isn’t complicated. Interest isn’t hard to read. When someone wants you, they show up. They lean in, they make time, and they make it clear. You don’t have to question it, because they remove the doubt for you. If you find yourself constantly wondering where you stand, then you already have your answer.
Now the Hard Question: Are You Ready?
It’s easy to dissect someone else’s behavior, but let’s flip the script—are you actually ready for love, or do you just like the idea of it?
Because love isn’t just about finding the right person. It’s about becoming the right person. You might think you want deep connection, but are you truly available for it? Have you closed your own romantic loops? Are you making space in your life for partnership, or are you just hoping it fits into the cracks?
And what about attraction? Because here’s the truth: beauty is energetic. Attraction is energetic. A pretty face and a hot body mean nothing if someone is emotionally immature, selfish, or unavailable. You know what’s actually attractive? Someone who is your kind of human. Someone who gets more beautiful the more you get to know them. Someone you can’t help but lean into.
If you’re still prioritizing surface-level attraction over deep compatibility, you aren’t ready either.
Final Thought: Stop Settling for Half-Interested People
Most people waste years of their lives entertaining people who are half-in, half-out. They let themselves get strung along by people who say just enough, do just enough, and keep just enough distance to keep the door open—but never fully step through it.
So here’s your reality check:
If you’re ready for real love, stop entertaining people who aren’t.
If you want to be chosen, stop sticking around for people who make you feel optional.
If you want someone to step up, stop tolerating inconsistency and emotional breadcrumbs.
The right person isn’t just ready, available, and interested. They show it. And so do you.
So stop wasting your damn time.
PS: Want to Go Deeper?
If you’re done playing the games and want to step into your own power in relationships, check out my Next Level Human coaching program. 👉 www.nextlevelhuman.com/human-coaching