Arguing with Clowns...
The secret to beating trolls? Don't fight them, pity them.
Reevaluating the Rude: Why the Loudest, Most Certain People Are Usually the Most Insecure
There’s a moment we’ve all experienced—some loud, combative person decides they need to school you, whether it’s in an argument, an online debate, or a casual conversation that takes a hard left turn into crazy town. They’re rude, aggressive, and overflowing with certainty. And your first instinct? You want to put them in their place.
But what if the right move wasn’t to fight back—but to pity them?
The Slim Woman and the Unhinged Insult
Imagine a woman—slim, fit, 5’3”, and completely at peace with her body. Now imagine some wild-eyed stranger walking up to her on the street, pointing in her face, and shouting:
“F**k you, you big fat hairy stank man!”
What does she do? Does she spiral into an identity crisis? Does she pull out a mirror to check for unexpected facial hair? Of course not. She laughs it off. Maybe she feels bad for the person—clearly, they’re not well. The insult doesn’t land because it has zero connection to what she knows to be true.
Now, take that concept and apply it everywhere.
When someone knows something deeply—when they eat, sleep, and breathe a subject, when they have lived experience, when they are secure in themselves—they don’t need to be loud about it. They don’t need to argue or “win.” They’re not out here aggressively shoving their opinions down people’s throats because they don’t need to prove anything.
The people who do? The ones who are loudest, rudest, and most certain? They’re compensating.
Reactance: The Science of Loud Insecurity
There’s a psychological term for this: reactance. It’s what happens when people feel their freedom, intelligence, or autonomy is threatened. Instead of listening, they double down. They become louder, ruder, and more aggressive. Why? Because their insecurity dictates it.
And the irony? The more certain and combative someone is, the more likely they are to be deeply insecure about the thing they’re fighting so hard for.
People who truly understand a topic greet counterarguments with excited skepticism—not defensiveness. They’re eager to learn.
People who don’t? They fight like hell to maintain the illusion of certainty.
So, the next time someone is getting loud and hostile, understand what’s really happening: they feel small, they feel dumb, and they are desperately trying to cover it up.
Why Base-Level Humans Need Control
Let’s go deeper. Why does this happen? Why do some people react with aggression when they feel insecure?
It comes down to what I call Base-Level Psychology. Base-Level Humans are people who never fully developed security in themselves—often because of some kind of developmental deficit in childhood or adolescence.
If they lacked safety and security growing up, they become obsessed with control and power.
If they felt rejection or exclusion, they become loud and combative to assert themselves.
Their entire identity is built around maintaining control. So when someone challenges them, even indirectly, their brain short-circuits. Their inner child is throwing a tantrum—but instead of crying, they’re yelling at you on the internet.
This is why the genre of internet trolls and bullies exists. They’re not actually here to debate. They’re here to:
Prove they’re right.
Prove you’re wrong.
Feel a sense of power over their environment.
It’s not about truth—it’s about their fragile sense of self.
The Ultimate Mindset Shift: Don’t Get Mad, Get Indifferent
Once you see rude, loud certainty for what it is—a symptom of insecurity—you stop taking the bait. Here’s how to handle it:
Notice What’s Happening – When someone gets aggressive, understand: this is not confidence. It’s fear wearing a power suit.
Don’t Attack Back – There’s nothing to fight here. You don’t argue with a toddler having a meltdown.
Don’t Explain Yourself – Explanations are for people willing to listen. They’re not listening.
Don’t Even Be Nice – Niceness is wasted energy in this situation. Just move on.
Exit the Conversation – The most powerful response is silence and disengagement.
The Most Ironic Truth of All
The people most obsessed with proving their intelligence, superiority, or righteousness are the least likely to possess those qualities in any real way.
True intelligence is secure enough to be curious. True confidence has no need to prove itself. True wisdom knows when to walk away.
So, the next time someone is loud, rude, and certain, don’t argue. Don’t get mad. Don’t even engage.
Pity them. Then move on.
PS: If you’re ready to stop getting sucked into pointless arguments and step into true confidence, check out my Next Level Human coaching program. It’s where we work on mastering emotional control, self-assurance, and the psychology of personal power. 👉 http://www.nextlevelhuman.com/human-coaching